little more sex with my Humanity

All right. I'm going to drop the intro. Yeah. 
I am excited. I am back for my second episode of Steven. I cannot speak. 
I'm so trying to ground right now, which is a good thing that today's guest is my very deep, profound, beautiful friend, Jeff. I'm just going to call him Jeff because he said I didn't care what I called him. I mean, that is my name. 
It is you. Christian name? Legal name? 
Legal name. We'll go with that. Legal name? 
Yeah. All right. And I've asked Jeff to come into my living room slash studio to sit here because we've been having this amazing conversation over a lot of things. 
I'm not going to go into all of the things that we've been talking about, but one of the things that's really at the core of this second season is about discovering the sacredness of the body. And I think a return. I've been writing this article from my substack called Coming Homo. 
So on that note, yeah, Jeff, why don't just say a little bit about yourself? My name is Jeff. No, I've gotten that a lot as I've introduced people introduced myself to people who here seems to be the only reference for Jeff that a lot of the Dutch people have. 
So I'm Jeff. I am a body worker. I have had the pleasure and privilege to get to learn energy work, body work through my own familial lineage. 
And it has really changed my whole perspective on everything, changed my life, changed my body. And it's a journey that I will continue to go on. And I the one thing about the journeyney of the body is so often we're told there isn't, there's no end to it. 
And I kind of want to amend that because all of of our bodies have a template, a template of perfection in that it's what our DNA, our source code has for our tissue, for our cellular growth, for our bones. Everybody. Everything. 
Everybody. Everything. Everything. 
And that with enough work, intention, focus, it is an accomplishable goal to reach that physiological template. So I'm just here to spread that gospel. Well, just to give a little bit of context, Jeff and I have been working since he was brought into my field. 
And the minute he entered, the whole thing shifted. I can't say that. I mean, I mean a lot of amazing people now that shift my field, but not a lot of people the way you have. 
And the way that you've helped me understand how to go as high as possible into the higher states that I like, into the mind, and then come down and actually bring that into the world. And I'm excited because, you know, in the actual practice, it's me showing up once on your table. I'm sorry. you're that good, where you helped me understand how I can have a better relationship with my own body. 
Totally. I mean, I'm, it's a pleasure for me to hear that because that is the intention and goal that I bring to every session. And, um, the one of the best pieces of wisdom that I've gotten recently from my teacher, who's also my aunt, was it doesn't like going up and getting high into the higher fields and accessing information, accessing different sensations feels really good, but anything that you can't ground doesn't really exist. 
And that was a huge turning point for me as well on my understanding and journey of both energetics and body work. So being able to share that ground and kind of funneling that higher, that higher knowledge down into this physical reality is just part of what I think I'm here to do and to hear that, that was part of our experience on the table. I feel grateful to have been a piece of that journey for you. 
Yeah, and I'm just grinning with like so much pride over here. Watching this young man. because I think, well, it was in the cards. Jeff and I pulled the card before we came in here. 
It was the stingray from this beautiful new pack of, uh, we'll call it a divergent of tarot cards. This woman took wild animals and made them kind of a tarot structure. And that's exactly what I guess what we're talking about is how to take really bright, beautiful beans who most of this world has really not valued. 
And I would say in that standard of neurodiverse world to kind of ground it in a clinical term, like that's growing. And how do we create a safe grounding structure to help these young individuals really rise into this next period of life? Totally. 
I mean, the. I think the challenge is when you grow up or live in a world that isn't necessarily created by people like you and perhaps you're told that this isn't, you know, even, even being told once, it'll have an energetic, emotional and physiological effect on your body, being told once that you don't belong. That takes away your ground. 
That takes away your connection to space and being able to to show people that they do belong here. We are all a part of this planet. We are all created with Earth material. 
We are Earth. And we all inherently belong. And anyone, and it's always a person or a thought form. 
Anyone who says different is. Yeah, and it never ends because you're saying this and I'm documenting things a lot. And right before you came over, I was at a coffee shop because I stopped to pick up some coffee and I wanted, I didn't even want to buy coffee. 
I just wanted to sit there and chill for a minute with my dog. And I walk over there and I, it's packed, which is fun because it's got that with the Dutch people sayazelic experience. And so I find my little space to sit down. 
And I kind of let Charlie, my dog, roam around. Most people are cool with it. And sometimes they're not, but it's, I feel like it's my job to kind of read that, but give him as much space as possible. 
Uh, and I know he can be annoying. He's little pussy son of a bee. Um, So of course he finds this guy who's not cool with it. 
So Not Hezle. Not Hez. Ne. 
And, it was one of those guys, and as soon as he turned around him, I more, oh, gaslighter. And then he starts, you know, bitching about the dog. I said, it's not it, which is Dudged me like, okay, dude, I get it. 
I understand. No, but he keeps going. And then, of course, so I'd let Charlie hang on a little bit longer than I should have. 
Okay, oh, good awareness. Pushing boundaries. Pushing boundaries. 
Well, that's okay. I feel like that's where we're at right now. But back to what you were saying as an adult, I'm starting to go into these gaslighting experiences because he kept going. 
And he said, no, madame, one meter. And I said, it's a hell?brook. 
It's really busy. I'm doing my best. And then he turns to the woman next to him and starts complaining to her. 
And she just goes, it's a dog friendly. Speaking of dog friendly, buddy, city. I finally had something to say. 
Well, he feels me feeling the energy again. Yeah. Yeah. 
But that's picking up exactly what you're saying. Like, anytime we take something from somebody else, because we're forcing our beliefs onto them, that is creating unsafe ground. Yeah. 
Which is basically kind of what you were saying near the end.. What did what did the woman say? Oh, she said it's a dog city, and then she sat there for about two more minutes and got up and left. 
It's like a stink bomb. Yeah. People who have bad negative energy. 
He had all the ways to communicate to me that he didn't appreciate or, or he didn't want Charlie in his field. Um, and I'm feeling a little snarky. So these days that I'm pushing boundaries. 
Sure. But as a true scientist, I'm like, okay, well, what sort of data can I collect here? But that's taken me a very long time to your point why Jeff is in my life. 
He's helping me ground. It's going to be important. I mean, it's been a journey and a practice for myself finding ground being introduced to it in a very structured sense of having practices of how to both feel into the lower part of my body, my pelvis, feel into the ground, the earth, resource from that, be able to take what I need in space and sit in space comfortably because I grew up feeling like no matter where I was, maybe, maybe I didn't belong. 
Maybe I didn't have, maybe I didn't have space for myself. That might also be part of my own challenges growing up. I have a twin. 
We had a challenging birth experience where as I took space, he actually got smaller and that was that.. Physically. Physically. 
Like in the womb. In the womb. It was it's something called twin transfusion. 
And one of the babies in a shared placenta gets more blood allocated and or one one baby's a receiver and one's a donor. I was the receiver. I got more fluid. 
I grew. He basically was peeing out more amniotic fluid than he could take in. I was taking in more than I could pee out. 
So that sort of he shrunk. I got bigger. And throughout all of our childhood, it was almost every time that I just sat and took up space, it was a threat. 
And it was a threat to him. So I think encoded from that birth experience was, you don't get to take up space. It's dangerous for others. 
And then it became dangerous for myself. So by encoded, you mean literally in your body. Literally. 
Like your body just will naturally respond to this because this is fascinating because this is something you started in the womb. Exactly. Yeah. 
But a lot of people have a reference to the womb experience. Right. Yeah. 
Which is kind of interesting. It is. Yeah. 
It is. And it would add on to that being queer in a world that, you know, I, I think we all were hopeful, um, at least in the U.S in 2016, as it just felt like everything was possible. Uh, in a more expressive, expansive sense. 
And then realizing, a way, much of the world does not see things this way and it's still not necessarily safe to be yourself everywhere in this planet, on this planet. It's very interesting that you say that because if I map what you just said set up to my personal journey, that's when I left the United States. Good timing. 
Yeah. Yeah. Well, only because we are talking about ground and safety and body. 
And I think that's a perfect segue into why I ended up here. Jeff and I often joke that we were at the last, I'll use the pejorative term, two little Indian boys who got off the reservation. The more PC term that even Chat corrects me on is indigenous people. 
And I've got 13% indigenous in me, so I can get behind that vibe. I don't. So I'm just going to put that on the record, but I, having been born on that land, I have always resonated with the practice practices of the people that came before and the stewardship. 
And I've been very fortunate to have some teachers of ancient indigenous wisdom that I like, or that I incorporate in my life and live by a lot of that ideology as well. Again, I love that you are you Gen Z? No, thank God. 
Sorry. Sorry,. No, no, no. 
No, I've been really on Gen Z's. I'm a millennial. Okay. 
Yeah. Still, don't matter. Any Anything below Gen X, I am... 
I'm enamored with in the level of awareness that you that these groups of younger generations behind us, I don't know if it's absorbing or embracing or just vibing with. It's above my pay grade. But every time I see somebody, I just get to smile. 
And to be clear, I say, thank God, because I wasn't brought up in a world that was two dimensional on screens. I was just before that. And I feel very lucky about that. 
And having seen both the positives, which I think to your credit is the expansion of knowledge, the expansion of information, the ability for people to identify with other groups, find that identity within themselves and express themselves in different ways because of exposure is wonderful, but then the flip side of that is the taking you out of the third dimensional reality of interacting in human and just interacting in a two-dimensional plane that doesn't give you all of the necessary and wonderful body feedback that we should have as humans. Yes. And because I'm feeling really at that creative edge, as opposed to fear. 
I was like, no, this is my little niece has coined the term and I'm going to make this a thing. Yes, we're going to make fetch a thing. Nerves sighted, right? 
Which is my nervous system is still regulating, so I''m still like in that fear state, but I'm on that verge of really excitement because I look at the younger generations. I look more at your levels of awareness. And then then I forgive the bullshit. 
Right? Because it's easier for me to look at that way because when, when I get data in my algorithm fed to me that says, you know, the younger generations believe more than the star guidance. That brings me back to Native American principle that brings me back to grounds. 
I mean, that tells me, no, they just need a better leader. Yeah. Leaders. 
I'm going to say leaders. They need better leaders. And they need to, what I've realized in my own journey, and especially since Jeff has helped me ground, thank you, body, is that we are all leaders and teachers and students in the same coin, right? 
I have learned so much since I came into my life and then we've hung out like five times. But I know, I think You might be right. It just, you know, feels when you, when you have a resonance with another person like we do, I think even when they're there' limited amounts of time, it just, it doesn't feel limited. 
No, at all. It feels like when everybody says you meet an old soul and another old soul meets or, but I don't feel like I've ever met you, but yet. I have that same feeling from that story. 
Sure. Yeah. I understand. 
Yeah. That's the beauty about Jeff is like, I just say something. It's not even the words. 
It's the frequency. And you can't feel this on the radio, but I think you can't. Yeah, we can we can, transmit. 
Start buzzing out. Yeah. Ground. 
Yeah. Anything else we need in there? There's a whole slew of things that we would like in there, but sure, let's start with Gr. 
Let's ground. It's a good place to start. Yeah, I think doing the pre-show, which is just bullshitting. 
So anybody who comes on the show, we get to bullshit for an hour and then we get to chat for an hour. I think we did come to the conclusion that right now, the only focus is ground. And maybe I'll put you on the spot. 
Do you want to go through some of the basics of ground? The basics of ground. Yeah, because earlier you had a pretty technical kind of description, which is fine, but maybe a more practical guide to. 
Sure. And three easy steps. Three easy steps from a body standpoint, being able to feel into the bottoms of your feet and the base of your pelvis. 
Those are our, if we think of ourselves as a tripod, energetically, those are our centers that are going down into the earth. So Yeah. But you work, and I think this is important. 
You're more gred than most people. You work ground up. Yeah. 
I think most people in North America who have been in their heads a lot are working head down. So when you say grounds and hip, I think for me, uh, and I took like five times being in your presence and being in your field for me to actually really start feeling what that felt like. Like I've been walking on Air Jordan's for the last 25 years. 
For sure. Yeah. Yeah. disconnect a layer of manufactured goods between us and ground. 
Granted, I don't, I don't walk barefoot everywhere. I actually rarely walk barefoot, but that you're right. I think we are conditioned in many ways to feel separate from our, our base, our foundation, and to be very thought- centered up in our heads. 
Anyway, with a physical practice, that physical practice is grounding because you are then going from your head into your body. A sport, dance, movement of any kind helps to ground as well. Yeah. 
I'd say that's another component of first attention into these lower parts of the body that have energygetic connections with the earth. And then second, good, easy tool is some sort of movement practice, something to get you in your body and out of your head to shift that attention into down, down into movement. So my two greatest rituals right now. 
The first one is just cleaning. I've spent, and it took me six months, eight months from a burnout. So from a high real anxious state head to, um, not just a, I call it like the eky guy approach to cleaning, not just cleaning, but find a way to enjoy cleaning. 
So that was my ground practice. And the second one is being meditating with my dog. Nice. 
Because he never lets me meditate. Or he'll let me do it for about eight minutes and then he gets bored. And so not reacting to him has been like probably the two biggest ways. 
And then only then by focusing on those target activities, so one was movement, one was stillness. And then with, well, the guidance of two really good teachers to help me understand how to regulate the energy through my body. And then can I start feeling my lower regions again? 
I want to be clear. It took me a full year, year and a half of guided intentional practice with this to actually get down to the felt sense of ground in my pelvis, in my feet coming up into my body. But it doesn't have to take that long. 
It's just, that was my, that was my timeline. That was how much I had to practice in order to get my attention down there. So it, yeah, it takes time. 
And being okay with that is actually a grounding practice in of itself. Well, look it up. But here's the genius is once you start buying into some of the basics, like gratitude and forgiveness and all these things that people say, vulnerability is a ground in practice. 
Yeah. Vulnerability is great for fear. Like I've been vulnerable and I've had a lot of feedback to give some of my really close friends. 
And the more that I express that fear of giving that feedback, which they really need, you know, because I'm afraid, well, I don't even know what I was afraid of now that I've done it. Yeah. I don't know. 
Thank your body. Yeah. Yeah. 
Okay. So that's one. Movement. 
We said movement. Movement, attention into into the pel pelvis, into the feet. And And be patient. 
Patience is a big one. I would say.. Like the third easiest route into it is, you know, go be in nature. 
Just go sit in nature somewhere. It'll, it will ground you. The interesting part is like millions of people have said this. 
Oh, yeah. This is not new information. This is not new information. 
And even knowing that and even having good practices for the last four or five years, one big episode in my life that really kind of, well, I would say it was an old frequency, but it still knocked me if we're a loop. Then I get in all to my old loops and I forget the basics. Yeah, that's how it goes. 
I mean, basics are there to keep us from getting triggered. And when we are triggered, we are inherently out of basics. So then we go into patterns that we've developed in order to help us deal with the world, their defense mechanisms, their patterns, their their loops of how do we respond to things? 
But the whole benefit of these basics is that they keep us out of those patterns. And if we can stay in these basics, if we can practice these basics, then it's a lot harder to get triggered. Or when we do get triggered, we know what to do to de- trigger us and get us out of those loops, those patterns, those behaviors that might not be in alignment with how we want to live our lives. 
Yeah. And from my experience, keeping a really good journal. I know these is, again, basic, basic, basic. 
But then not only did I keep the journal, I made it a game for myself. It was like I turned myself into my own psychosis detective. Sure. 
Yeah. And then it became fun. Totally. 
And not so fear-based. It was like, no, it was more a dopaminebased.. Got to be a little careful. 
Well, I mean, it's, when you get to investigate how you are who you are and realize that you can actually change aspects of yourself to benefit you going forward, it's hard not to become the detective and want to do that all of the time. If you develop the tools to be able to be in control of self, I mean, why wouldn't you shifting into, you know.. That's when it went from detective, which was a like a 2DD kind of flat idea to no, I'm the pilot of a very expensive spaceship that has very good, uh, attributes in properties, right? 
And in fact, it's, it's like the Ready Player One. You know, you get your different spaceships to go through the galaxies. And well, that's, that's my body. 
My soul is in my body. Totally. Our bodies are instruments. 
And our, our essence or soul comes into this instrument and plays the instrument. Do you want your instrument fine-uned or do you want it out attuned? A lot of these practices are to fine-tun the instrument so that your essence, your soul can vibrate through it at frequencies that are in harmony with everything around you. 
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to take a breath here because this has been a lot of fun. 
And I think I'm going to take the conversation in a different direction. Because I said, first we were going to talk about.. Oh, wait,, wait, hold on. 
At some point, I'm going to get really fancy with all these buttons right now. I love that Right now, I don't even know which one is, but they're all pretty colors. Entering the Twilight Zone. 
Yeah. So, again, just to summarize for myself, um I think right now in this period that feels really unstable and wobbly, and it's supposed to. The frequencies are high. 
There's a lot. We were talking earlier. Some of the hardest things that are in our faces all the time asking for our attention are things that are challenging, like, you know, things that are happening in our country, things that are happening as a result of relationships that our country has, which seem to be at the heart of a lot of things that are, that I know are stressing my family out, stressing the people. 
And any time I have to mention where I'm from, I usually get something about it. Always. Yeah. 
Well, that's actually not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about. Are the things that you and I are doing on the dance floor in Amsterdam to bring that back into harmony. 
Ooh. Yeah, right? All right. 
We'll get into it. So... I am checking the machine first to make sure we're still going because there's really good stuff. 
Okay. I know. Someday I'll be super professional. 
But today we're just flowing. This is professional shit, homie. I know. 
You're good. I know. Thank you. 
Great setup. Oh, good awareness.. He catches me. 
I've been working the Amsterdam techno scene since COVID. And it's just this idea, this voice, everybody says it, this thing. It's just this deep sense of feeling. 
It's like, you need to go explore this. So I found a really good guyide who took me into the night and taught me, actually, I had many guides who introduced me how to go do the work in the shadow, which is the dark and the night. And Juicy stuff. stuff. 
Yeah, this is, I was a 35 year old virgin. I just, you know, I had never gone into the dark. I called myself an old woman. 
Okay, whatever. But I actually enjoyed that time in my 20s and 30s. So by my 40s, I'm like, well, I'm single, I'm gay. 
How else am I going to meet people? And I was also afraid, not of people, but of myself. So I did a lot of work to ground to go into these scenes, but once I got into these scenes, I started learning so much. 
And then I started monitoring. Because I'm like, something's happening here. And when my mom left during COVID, because she was visiting, she is an artist, so I know she's got vision and she's a very good intuition and she's got something's happening here. 
And then when you show up and all these other wonderful people start showing up, I'm, okay, it's time to start talking about what's happening here. Yeah. The vulnerability coming out. 
It's going to be the good half hour. Yeah, this is for me, this is a. You know, one of those spaces where so much is happening, but when you go to talk about it, you don't want to sound like the crazy person in the corner, which I often, or I guess I'm shifting into using that as a, as a power, as opposed to a fear, a fear-based response to expressing what I feel is going on. 
I think that's the only thing we can share and be honest with it and trust that our heart vibrations are going to be met. That's how I'm feeling about it. Yeah. 
And I'm, this is great practice for me to step into that because a lot of the work that I do on the dance for, I fear that no one is is, A, no one's feeling it. B, no one's, um, I guess it's not, no one's feeling it. B, no one's able to comprehend what''s happening on a cognitive level, which, for most of the world, that is primary. 
If something doesn't exist cognitively, it doesn't hold value value. And I feel the value in a